Self-love is mandatory to experience a sense of wholeness, but it is not what people think.  Self-love is the willingness to grow into and to be present with what arises, for the awareness that it has to offer. Meeting what arises with presence brings coherence to each aspect of Self and those met aspects enhance your experience of oneness.

 Self-love and care means different things to different people. The self-love and care that I am speaking of is an opportunity to meet all aspects of yourself as if it has something to add to the whole and in doing so systematically re-member the experience of being one.

Everyone is seeking something, be it love, belonging, health, abundance, enlightenment or the like. Even in the word seeking, there is an assumption that what is being sought is external. Yet everything that we are seeking exists within us. EVERYTHING. When we apply self- love and care from the inside, we increase our first- hand experience of our innate wholeness.

As spiritual beings having a human experience, we are simultaneously All That Is and the experience of being separated from All That Is. Our opportunity on this planet is to move out of separation within ourselves and return to the experience of oneness.

In this context, self-love and care is the internal process that returns us to what we have always been, but have been conditioned to forget. Physics is now teaching us that “There is no out there, out there.” (Fred Alan Wolfe in What the Bleep Do We Know) meaning that the outer world is simply a reflection of the collective inner world. If this is the case than we cannot expect outer peace when we are at war with various aspects of ourselves. We cannot expect to experience love and compassion in the world when we are less than loving and compassionate to aspects of ourselves that make themselves known on a daily basis. There is a reason why ancient mystery teachings hold the mandate “ Know Thyself”. It is through not only knowing the various aspects of yourself, but by meeting those aspects with love and compassion that we re-member what we have always been.

Source, All That Is, God holds deep love and care for you in every moment and as such anything that remains separated within you will be reflected back to you, by those who play significant roles in your life. These reflections are not a punishment but a request to reclaim the parts of yourself that have been pushed into the shadows. You do not have to be a saint or a sage to feel whole, integrated and wise, you simply need to accept the invitation to meet the parts of you that are arising.

It fascinates me that every one of the seven plus billion people on this planet is offered a personalized reflection on a moment by moment basis so they can reclaim all that they are! It is however challenging to reclaim these aspects of yourself and to feel whole, if you do not know that the universe is working on your behalf 24/7 and what to do with what arises. The process of self- love and deep care is really much easier than one might think. It’s so easy in fact that we can talk ourselves out of engaging in the process, especially because although easy, the process is rarely comfortable…at least initially.

What arises within us is never as important as how we meet what arises. Regardless of our lot in life, we can begin to meet what arises within us with greater degrees of love and compassion. As we do, our lives begin to reflect that love and compassion. We are not here to get love, but to re-member that we are it.

Introductory Process for Self-Love and Deep Care

  • Begin with the premise that everything that arises in your outer lives is inviting you to reclaim part of your inner community.
  • Also let’s assume that everything that you have hidden within the shadows of your being, you did so to protect. We hid aspects of ourselves as a strategy to preserve the power, light, love or wisdom that aspect represents. Our shadows are not bad. They are simply the parts of us that have not yet been fully met.
  • If the reflections you are experiencing are pleasant, or if you love something about someone else, assume that aspect is already coherent within you.
  • If the reflection you are experiencing is unpleasant or creates negative inner dialogue, consider that it is simply an opportunity to reclaim a part of yourself.
  • To empower this experience first “dismiss the messenger”, meaning be more present to what is arising within you than the person or situation that brought this unclaimed part of yourself to your awareness. This looks like stepping back from a situation or person that has triggered you or brought one of your strategies to light.
  • Once you step back, begin to breathe and ask what is arising how old it is. We typically learn to hide or protect the brightest most beautiful aspects of ourselves within our first seven years of life. We take on more complex story based strategies between 7 and 21, but the foundational protective strategies where set pretty early. So the easiest way to access this part of ourselves is simply to ask how old it is.
  • Once you have it’s age, imagine that aged child out in front of you. Listen to what it is saying and speak to it as a good parent would. Let it know that you are there for it. Tell it that you love and appreciate it. This works because we are often much kinder to children around us than we are to the children within us. These inner aspects or children simply want to be met and they will keep showing themselves in your life until they are met with love, compassion and understanding.

For deeper support in the integration of various aspects of self, read the other articles under Important Aspects of Your Integration and or book a private session with Suzy. You may also want to consider the next Journey Back to Love series where she goes into greate detail of how to reclaim all of yourself and thus fucntion from your wholeness.