Have you ever been stripped down to your core, laid bare and vulnerable, looking for direction and knowing that it can only come from going through the process you are in? These are the moments when every answer that you seek is hiding deep within, and you know it, but, oh, wouldn’t you rather look outside of yourself for them just one more time?
Some call this a Dark Night of the Soul.
It’s easy to understand this term, but what makes these “Dark Nights” dark? As with physical birth, before we come into the light of this human experience, we find ourselves in the dark space of the womb. In this space, the information that we receive comes exclusively through vibration, and that vibration literally becomes woven into the fabric of our being. But that information is not our being. It is merely what has been imprinted upon our consciousness.
In preparation for the birth of the ONE you, you naturally and organically return to a similar “void” space; space where there is little to no mental or emotional information, just a prevailing sense of information as vibration.
This “space” may be experienced as darkness, merely because it offers nothing for the mind or emotions to grab hold of. This does not mean that the experience is devoid of information. This experience is perceived as “dark” because we are thrown into it from the perspective of the mind to snuff out our imprinting once and for all.
Some of you may be in the midst of this experience right now. If you are, I’d like to offer my congratulations. I know it can feel crazy-making and uncomfortable, but I also know that this is the birth that leaves you with an inner awareness of Self that no longer seeks love, wisdom, and awareness but knows itself to be that which it was seeking.
At some point, in one lifetime or another, when it is time, we let go of everything we thought we were along with everything that had meaning based on our imprinting, and we return to the clear vibration and expression of the field of consciousness that we started as. This experience is not for the faint of heart or the weak of mind. The good thing is that it only arises when the soul is ready. We can’t make it happen; we can only allow it as best we can.
There is no “doing” the birth of the ONE you; there is only recognizing the process as it occurs, allowing it to be as fluid as possible.
The birth of the ONE you represents a complete merge of the masculine and feminine within, meaning that what was imprinted from your matriarchal and patriarchal lineage has somehow been released, providing you with the space to recognize that which you are beyond the imprinting.
There aren’t words to describe this merge. What I can share is that much of the information that is “out there” regarding the merge of the masculine and feminine in no way represents the inner experience. Rumi better conveys this merge in his poetry as he describes those moments when the beloved engages more completely with the heart of the divine lover.
The merge, to whatever degree it occurs, is beautiful beyond words. There are no words as there is no mind in these moments. The duality of our programming catches merely a glimpse of the ONE you. The closest way to describe it is as a sense of reverence. Reverence for the experience, for Self, for all life, and for the privilege of living. It’s as if the heart turns in on itself and surrenders the burden of polarity.
Before the merge, your mind and emotions may go into utter confusion. You may lose all sense of contentment with the superficial aspects of your life. It’s a bit like a mental “blackout.” To say that you stop caring about the comings and goings of your life is a gross understatement.
At first, the mind just wants to get through it, at least until it is stopped, as if by grace.
Others can provide guidance or support, but it always falls short, requiring you ultimately just to allow the process to have its way with you. Your only guide throughout this unfolding is vibration, meaning you become super-tuned into that which is part of the flow of the process and what is pushing against it. Any attempts to control the process or to create safety will backfire very quickly! It makes sense that we would return to heightened vibrational awareness as our Oneness is birthed because we began as consciousness being aware.
It actually doesn’t matter what “makes sense” anyway, because the process always wins regardless. That is a wonderful thing! Just as in childbirth, the child is coming through us, and we actually have no idea how to “give birth.” We merely have to merge with, allow and trust the process to the highest degree that we can, and when we can’t trust any longer, birth happens anyway, just because is time!
When you enter the process of birthing the ONE you, the mind will look for a reason as to why this is happening. It will seek to explain what has brought it about. At first you might think that you have done something “wrong” and this is the outcome of your misdeed. Once past the self- punishment phase, you might assume that something has changed astrologically, cosmically, or within the collective to create the momentum for such an experience. Although these influences may support the availability of this birth process, the birth of the ONE you is happening simply according to your Divine plan.
The process of this birth leaves you with a fundamental shift in perception. That which the mind considered ideal based on your imprinting has no option but to surrender to what is shifting within you. There is no seeking, only an awareness of what is being reveled. Presence takes over. The love and the lover become one! You return to the field of consciousness that created you, most likely at first in fits and starts. Your expression as that field of consciousness informs you about YOU.
If this is your process, my suggestion is that every time panic arises, breathe. Allow the energy of the process, and then breathe again. Stay with the process. Don’t try to change it. Let that Divine love consume you! Easier said than done, I know! Funny thing is that when YOU as the divine consumes you as the mind, laughter is the natural response. Ah, the illusions of the mind. There has always only ever been one YOU.
I have abolished duality from myself.
I have seen the two worlds as One!
One I seek, One I know,
One I see and One I call.