The question “How do I best help my child?” is what every parent wants answered. In the question itself is the assumption that there is something that you can DO to make your child’s experience better, however regardless of what we try to do for our children, their focus is never on what we are DOING. Their attention point is on what we are BEING.
The children of today are tuned into energetic patterns more than ever. They are highly sensitive and extremely aware regardless of their ability to communicate that awareness. By energetic pattern, I mean the way your emotional energy and thought processes create your perceptual reality.
Children do not become just like their parents because of some genetic coding. They follow their parent’s patterns because they witness those patterns day in and day out. They experience these patterns through various levels of their consciousness and these patterns become theirs.
I can hear you saying now,” I know, I don’t want my child to have the same experiences that I had.” “That’s why I want to know what to do.”
I want to explain why your alignment to YOU is more important to your child than anything else. This goes for any child, regardless of perceived challenges.
Each expression of your self holds a vibrational frequency. Happy has a frequency. Sad has a frequency. Abundant has a frequency and so does the feeling of lack. When you choose the same feelings over and over again, they become a set energetic pattern and that pattern holds a predominant frequency in your expression of self. From the time your child is conceived and throughout their life they are feeling these frequencies, seeing these patterns and learning how to be in the world based on all of it. They are being taught at a very subtle level how to respond to every life experience based on the best teachers they have—YOU!
Therefore when your life is abundant and beautiful so is your child’s. When you are pleased with yourself, so is your child. When children are young, before the age of seven, they see your patterns but don’t necessarily understand them. Many times they act out your pattern so that you can see them and choose again. But more often than not- you the parent, sees this pattern as an aspect of yourself that you do not like and you tell your child to STOP.
All you are really doing here is yelling at your own inner child to STOP that pattern. Unfortunately, your child is not the owner of that pattern, you are! (At least not for now, while they are still young.)
If you can see that behavior being played out by your child and you use it as information about your pattern then you can make a new choice. Your child’s behavior is just offering you a choice. It is not a condemnation of who you are or how they have been raised so far. It is simply a choice
Example: Your child is feeling low self-worth, whining about how nothing ever goes his way. You hear him and it brings something about your own self worth to the surface. You can repeat the pattern by trying to STOP that feeling in your child and you, or you can simply acknowledge that your personal sense of self-worth could use an overhaul and choose to be grateful for the information. You could say, ” Wow, you just showed me something that I really would like to change.” “Thanks for the information.” Your child will be stunned at first (smile) because they expect a different reaction. They will also be pleased!
When you place your focused attention on being the best you that you can be, your child can model that pattern for itself. Our children do not come here to be US. They come here to be the fullest expression of who THEY are, but more often than not, we are so worried about fixing them that we forget that they are just modeling our patterns. Most of these patterns within us are unconscious. So when the child expresses our pattern, we see it as something THEY are doing. Please hear- everything that tweaks you, everywhere, is a gift to be looked at. Every judgment of another is your issue and opportunity.
Sounds like a bit much doesn’t it? Well not if you are seeing this whole life experience as a way to know yourself better and to be aligned with who you really are. Every single day in every single experience presents these gifts. When we take our own well-being and alignment into consideration first, our children learn to do the same.
For those of you who have children who are extremely sensitive your daily ”gifts” can feel like they are fast tracked. They are and that was part of your bigger plan. Parents of highly sensitive children or children that present with particular challenges are getting a deep look at both individual and collective patterns. Again if you can hear this information as just useful information, you have the potential to offer not only yourselves but also humanity a huge shift in the collective frequency. The collective “we” are very grateful that you are here, because in addition to shifting your own patterns consciously you are also adding to the collective frequency a healthy dose of unconditional love and we need it.
It has never been more important that we align with the higher aspects of ourselves. Being the frequency of the love that you are offers not only you an amazing life experience, but it also creates potential and possibilities for your children that actually evolve us as a species. There are many levels of alignment, many ways to experience yourself and thus many high frequency patterns to offer your children but lets start at the basics.
- Realize that you have a choice every time your child reflects a pattern to you.
- Choose responsibility (the ability to respond vs. react)
- Choose self-awareness
- Choose to consciously create your vibrational frequency
- Choose happy
- Choose a new story about self or NO STORY at all
- Choose the power of choice
Patterns change in increments, but I can assure you that there has never been a more supportive time in history to shift into alignment with higher aspects of yourself, experience the bigger you and live the life you are here to live.
All you have to do is choose!
Then watch your children as they reflect your alignment right back at you! We do not change our children. We change ourselves.
“Be the change that you want to see in the world” Gandhi. This great quote starts right at home, right in your very personal world. Hopefully you can see now how one small shift within can affect not only our children but also the whole world. Please start with you.